Bromance and Papercuts
by Clementive
Summary: [A collection of drabbles] Kiba Inuzuka, animal right defender and prankster (only during his free time) took upon himself to instruct Neji Hyuuga, human ice-cube, into the basis of bromance, golf and creative pranks. "Why are you shaking your posterior in our room, Inuzuka?" NejiKiba Friendship.
1. Mr Ice and Mr Nice

_**This is my entry for the Friendship Only Challenge organised by Aqua Cahill, so yes: only friendship between Neji and Kiba. Or rather I should say 'only "bromance"' :) In total, there will be 6 drabbles in this collection.**_

_**Enjoy!**_

-X-

001. Mr. Ice and Mr. Nice

"You are an idiot."

The darkness didn't answer him. Instead, a hand tenaciously waved the ski mask in front of his annoyed expression.

He tried again, refusing the wool garment with disdain:

"Hell no, Inuzuka. I won't lower myself to such childishness."

Kiba exaggeratedly rolled his eyes forcing the grotesque costume onto the Hyuuga's hands.

"Just put it on, Hyuuga!" He grunted lowly his eyes moving furtively along the shades of the alley. "This is part of your introduction to social values."

Excitement raced in his veins as he pulled a dark hoodie over his school uniform.

"That's not even an option, Inuzuka. You told me we were _going out_ not _breaking in_," Neji answered in a cold hiss. "This is the conclusion to any of your stupid social values. I'm going back to the dorm."

A hand stopped him before he could step into the dimmed light of the street lamps.

"You know what they call you at school?"

Without answering, the pearl eyed teenager grunted brushing Kiba's hand off his arm.

"Mr. Ice."

It stopped him mid-track.

"It's ludicrous," he frowned turning back towards his friend. "Science renders such suggestion highly improbable. Surely, they know that a man of ice doesn't exist-."

"Do you know why?" He impatiently cut him off.

"Because they think like you that breaking in an animal shelter is both morally and legally acceptable."

"Dogs are whining! Can't you hear them?"

"I don't care!"

They clenched their jaw, mimicking one another's fury. They didn't flinch, didn't give in to one another. They balled their fists and the moon shone above their heads. As silence thickened, faint howls reached them by waves.

"Hn. No mask."

"As if they would recognize your new found weakness for-OI! Let it go, Hyuuga! Alright, alright, Hyuuga are strong! Good lord, you are one scary bro!"

The pearl eyed teenager released his arm as he leaned against the wall. His lips twisted in a disdain pout and aggravated, he watched Kiba pulled down the ski mask over his broad grin. 'If Uncle learns this…'

"Alright, Neji, I'm set. Let's go free those puppies."

In silence, they advanced in the darkness, their bodies folding in the shadows running across the bricks. Their soundless steps halted when they reached the road. They leaned in, searching the faint fog for another living soul.

"What do they call _you_?" He suddenly broke the silence. There was a hint of curiosity in his voice as their eyes remained on the silent road. Nervousness's cold fingers tightened their hold on their stomach.

Kiba's lips stretched into a wolfish grin.

"Mr. Nice."

**-X-**

_**I'm used to writing really long chapters so this is all new to me. Anyhow, I hope you've enjoyed :)**_


	2. Flying Notes

**Flying Notes  
**_**by Clementive**_

Neji Hyuuga enjoyed every second of the intellectual silence during classes; pencils running across pages, the voice of a teacher raising and falling, enunciating important facts.

Then, a ball of paper hit him at the back of the head.

His left brow twitched as a messy handwriting spelled out its secret content, thudding on his desk.

_Rule #1 of socialisation: stop writing so much, you nerd!_

"Can anyone tell me what Arakawa meant by: "it's a cruel and random world, but the chaos is all so beautiful."" Iruka asked, his eyes rummaging for a raised hand in the class.

Pearl orbs rummaged the room daring any student around him to utter a word or give the hint of a smile. Dark eyes followed his gestures. He glared, furrowing his brows out of disdain. Kiba exaggeratedly slowly mouthed insults about his manliness. He shook his head. With the back of his hand, he harshly threw his friend's note onto the floor.

Only silence answered the teacher and Neji took upon himself to raise his hand.

At that exact moment, another small ball of paper found his way on his desk after hitting him his cheek. Again.

_Rule #2 of socialisation: listen to me, goddamn it!_

Rigorously, Kiba shook his head, waving his arms in a theatrical manner that elicited silent snickers from his nearby classmates. Except his wave was mistaken for enthusiast by stubborn philosophy teacher.

"Ah! Finally, Mr Inuzuka thinks a philosophy class is worthy of his attention. Well, go ahead, sir, we are listening."

Neji smirked crossing his arms on his chest. 'Moron.' He was enjoying every second of it. KIba turned red, his hand nervously scratching the back of his head.

"Hmm, well, hmmm, the dude-"

"Arakawa," Iruka snapped. "His name is Arakawa."

"Yeah, well, him… hmm."

His explanation was lost in a sea of incoherent words and Neji thought after a while that it was enough. He cleared his throat and stepped; coolly, calmly.

"I think what Inuzuka is trying to say, sir, is that Arakawa meant humanity is beautiful as imperfect as it is. Chaos is proof of our humanity."

After giving Kiba one last black look, Iruka deepened the explanation feverishly writing on the blackboard.

A third note landed on his desk and he sighed impatiently.

_Rule #3 of socialisation: Bros never let down another bro. _

-X-

Thank you for reading! :)


	3. In Plain English

**In Plain English  
**_**by Clementive**_

Neji Hyuuga believed in a Cartesian representation of the universe, one that applied to the faintest presence of dust in the dorm room he shared with Kiba Inuzuka. As messy as Kiba's side of the room was, he strongly believed that it had his rightful place in the universe; 10 m2 that reflected his roommate's immaturity, foolishness and disorganisation.

Or so he thought until his opening the door revealed a golf practice.

"Why are you shaking your posterior assets in our room, Inuzuka?"

The younger teenager rolled his eyes as the golf club whipped the air.

"In plain English, we call it an 'ass', Neji. Didn't you study that vocabulary list I gave you?"

The pearl eyed boy chose to ignore him shutting the door behind him; the list was long gone in the recycle bin.

"I'm just saying that from both physics and physiological perspectives, this movement may lower your golf performance as well as your self-esteem. In plain English, you look like a fool."

Narrowed dark eyes found his pale mocking orbs and the two teenagers glared at one another. 'How do I put up with this fool?' They thought as one.

"This is what professionals do, Neji, so quit the physics mumbo-jumbo."

Carefully, he set his school bag on desk while Kiba regained his posture, aiming for the perfect hip movement. Then, his smirk froze on his lips when he noticed the golf back resting against his bed.

"This is my side of the room, Inuzuka," he voiced harshly pointing at the black pouch.

"I know. That's why it's _your_ golf bag."

"It isn't. I would know if I had purchased-"

"Plain English!"

"_Bought_ it."

"That's why I bought it for you. Future lawyers must know how to golf."

"They must also know the meaning of 'purchase'," he growled bypassing the object that disturbed his universe.

Kiba clicked his tongue, impatience guiding a rougher swing movement. A smirking Hyuuga sat his back straight at his desk. Slowly, he rolled up the sleeves of his uniform.

"My point being," he said slowly as if he were talking to a child. "We are going golfing this weekend."

They were now used to each other's reactions. Impatience earned a smirk as a response while indirect references to socialisation, a disgusted frown. At this point, it was past their linguistic barrier.

"Hn. Is this one of your social gatherings you plan on forcing into my already tight schedule?"

"Yup." He paused, the end of his golf club heavily meeting the floor. "You see, Neji, some social gatherings assured you a future and powerful friends. For one, there is golfing and the second one is wine tasting. We'll get to that later, no worries, bro."

"In plain English, this is for one of your stupid charity animal rights events." He asserted dully taking his biology book out of his bag. "_Bro_." The cool teenager rapidly added forcing the word out.

"Shut up," Kiba huffed, his swing ripping through the air.

"I'm sorry you must have omitted that expression on your list. I'm afraid I can't understand."

"I said shut up!"

-X-

_**Thank you for reading! :)**_


	4. Project Utopia

**Project Utopia  
**_**by Clementive**_

There were things that Kiba Inuzuka held for certain. He knew the right amount of discipline and love a dog needed to become a police dog and he knew that having good marks in maths and failing philosophy were hereditary in his case. He also knew all the possible pranks there was to be done in this world even though he often argued about it with Naruto. Finally, he knew that when Neji Hyuuga was in a sour mood, schoolwork or his uncle was involved.

So he had avoided him like the plague since Iruka gave him a B.

The moment a rough hand shook him awake and his stiffened body from sleep fell onto the floor, he knew that all hell were about to break loose, Hyuuga-style.

"WHAT THE-"

In matter of seconds, Neji violently held his hand against his mouth and muffled all the colour curses that reached his lips.

"Shut up, idiot. First rule of pranksters is silence." He hissed in the darkness of their dorm room.

Reality hit him hard and he found himself staring deviously at the Hyuuga genius. His composed face was replaced by a fierce flame quivering in his moon-like orbs and a smirk hung loosely on his lips.

Slowly, the hand released him. His roommate took a military pose pushing a blackboard towards him. Chalk outlined complex calculations and finally two words: _Project Utopia_.

He was now certain that Hyuuga were not the forgiving type.

"We are to visit Iruka's classroom, execute my plan and return to our room before three o'clock. Roger?"

Finally, the Inuzuka's twisted feeling of confusion and pride melt as he made out the shape of cans of paint.

"Paint? How unoriginal!" He huffed crossing his arms over his naked chest.

A flashlight opened in the room burning his eyes and the shadows on Neji's face appeared terrible and savage.

"This is not paint, it's wood glue. Unfortunately, Iruka's classroom door won't open tomorrow. But if it does, chairs won't bulge."

Silence settled between them and suddenly a smirk erupted on Kiba's lips. He lit a second flashlight, pressing it firmly under his chin.

"Neji, you have finally joined the circle of pranksters."

He began a crazy dance laughing madly but was interrupted a second later. His voice dropped and an inch separated their nose. The dark aura of the Hyuuga sent him searching for clothes faster than he ever had.

He knew Neji wasn't one to fool around. Except for what he called 'lesser grades' or so it seemed.

"You ready, bro?" Somehow, it came more naturally to his lips this time.

When he turned towards him, despite the cold sweat on his forehead, Kiba knew that old Neji Hyuuga would have glared at the teacher and accepted his grade as destiny because old Neji Hyuuga didn't have a bro to rely on.

"Always." Kiba grinned wolfishly.

Just like that, Kiba knew things were destined to change.

-X-

_**Thank you for reading :) I hope you have enjoyed it!**_


	5. The Dog Feast

_**To Yaoi-Lover: ... T_T In other words,**__** I failed this challenge?**_

-X-

**Dog Feast  
**_**by Clementive**_

Neji Hyuuga have never enjoyed the holiday season. His temper flared when Kiba's return was punctuated with a description of human interactions that made him uneasy. He could understand biology, chemistry and philosophy (despite Iruka's words, he could because Hyuuga could do anything.) But socialization, that he left it to the Inuzuka. However, there was an ache in his chest, an uneasiness that made his eyes water.

And Hyuuga eyes never watered.

"You know what's great about the holidays? Change happens and change is good." Kiba watched him carefully, a hand on his schoolbag. "You know I figured, there was something missing in this room. Can you feel it?"

"Inuzuka, the only thing I feel is that there's something wrong."

Neji tensed, his vision blurring, unfocused on the page. The dim light of the dorm room drew shadows from Kiba's side of the room. Irritation tickled his throat and it all rose in a tumult within him. The odour, the sharp pain in his chest. It felt familiar and it clicked in his mind; it was the same feeling he felt after the rescue dog mission of the Inuzuka.

Violently, he sneezed. Over and over.

"What's wrong with you?" His roommate asked nervously, his hand pulling his schoolbag closer to him.

Bloodshot eyes turned to him. Snow fell in graceful whirls through the window, it was the last day of winter break and something about the Inuzuka boy was definitely different. His eyes focused on the guilty bag.

Neji Hyuuga couldn't tolerate change. Not when it involved a running nose and physiological weaknesses.

"What's in that bag?" the pearl eyed boy asked venomously, a tissue tightly pressed against his running nose.

"Nothing."

Neji's body broke into another run of sneezes and coughs.

"Show me." His darkening voice ordered as he pushed himself off, towering his roommate. In quick motion, he exposed the interior of the bag. He saw a flash of white that deepened his frown and enticed another violent sneeze.

"It's a pillow that's all."

"Your pillow was _moving_, Inuzuka."

"No, it wasn't."

Then, the pillow yapped. 'Shit!'

They tensed, watching each other's reaction: one was lying, the other one was allergic. 'To hell with the change discussion!' Kiba sprinted, darting out of their room, the bag in his arms. Out of reflex, Neji ran after him, glaring at the back of his spiky head. They pushed through the boys walking the hallways.

"Hey, watch it!" They yelled after them.

"Once I catch you, Inuzuka," he threatened between sneezes and pants, a few meters behind him. "There will be a dog feast. You know I'm allergic to those creatures!"

Suddenly, Kiba Inuzuka knew his introduction to the topic of change has been the worst of his social teachings. 'Shit,' he repeated inwardly.

-X-

_**Thank you for reading as always ^_^ I hope you liked it!**_


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